Goodnight and Information, with a song.

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  • Hello, everyone.

    Even though I've been banned from the discord server, I still love interacting with all of you guys, and I'm not gonna stop being a part of the plutonium project. Many of you will probably never see this anyways, but if you do, I'm glad you're here.

    You all should know that you're valued and special, regardless of what goes on in your lives. But regardless of where I stand with the rest of plutonium, I still understand that everyone needs to hear comforting words in time of need, even if I need to send a post buried under the rest of the general discussion channel, considering people don't get involved with the forum outside of the modding releases and support channels, but still: you're all wonderful and I did enjoy our time fucking around in #general, even if it did get me permanently banned by a buzzkill staff member.

    I recognize that I've been banned for breaking a rule, but I went out enjoying my time with everyone else, talking trash and laughing at others' stupidity. I'm not asking to be banned, and I don't expect to be, but I just want to let you all know that the end of my discord presence doesn't entail my permanent absence. One strict staff member doesn't mean the rest are bad.

    Regardless of where I am, I'll always find the time for you guys, as you're all my people, and you always will be. I've met a lot of cool people since I joined the plutonium project, and gained some new skills along the way. So I wish you all the best, whenever I can't talk to you guys or help the newbie install bo2 because he cant find the readme.

    You're all welcome to message me, via discord, this forum, or Instagram, whenever you feel the need, or want my help;
    Discord: February31st#0031
    Instagram: GleamingSpirit

    And with that, I bid you all a good night, and I'll leave the song name at the bottom with some context, if you'd like, as well as the Spotify and YouTube links to the songs in a separate comment, in case the staff members want to remove it for "self promotion"

    Song Name: Be Fine (Feat ?te)
    Artist: Chang & Lee
    Language: Chinese
    Genre: Lo-fi

    Context: this song has been with me for 3 and a half months since around the time it was released, as I had been listening to songs by ?te, and this one specifically caught my attention because it gave me a sense of safety while I was in a dark place. For the longest time before that I had been feeling dread of the upcoming days, since life came along and hit me like a freight train. I had thoughts of suicide, feelings of hopelessness and regret, and almost fully believed that I would never make it past that point. Coming from a life of moving around from city to city and state to state, I could never make new friends, or keep the ones I had. And although my older brother was there, I took him for granted, as I did many things. And although I was mentally strong, my brother was always stronger. And I believed that when he snapped, I was destined to do the same, and end up 6 feet under, same as him - Honestly at times I still think that's meant to happen - but I push on anyways. There's a lot the world has to offer; negative mostly, but also some very positive things. Before I found this song I always listened to songs that matched my mood, and I felt as if my feelings were just meant to be felt until they vanished - as if the world was punishing me by forcing these emotions on me. But that was just me trapping myself in my own mind. Being a semi-fluent Chinese speaker, this song had already meant more to me than most other songs had, because I caught a glimpse outside of my own immediate world and saw how much pain truly floats about this world. The point of all this is to remind you all that everything will be okay in the end, no matter what negativity befalls you, no matter how hopeless it feels, and no matter how deep that hole of suffering and sadness goes, you can always climb out, even if nobody is around to help you. You are as strong as you decide to be. You are as valued as the rarest of gems, and you're as unique as an astrological event that only happens every 10 billion years. Your life is irreplaceable, and you do matter.

    I hope you all find this song as touching as I do, and I wish you all a good night.

  • @LeapingYears Omg Leaping, this is truly heart warming. I'm sorry about your ban on the Discord (Even though I do not know the context) but from all my time talking with you I thought you were a nice person.

    I'm sorry for your brother, that really is a tragic yet heartwarming story.
    That song, it really pulls on my heart strings, I have been through some rough patches as well.

    Even though you may be banned from the Discord just know you're still accepted in the Zombies community as a whole. You're a good, strong player with much knowledge of the game. I feel you deserve more recognition. Regardless of the recognition you didn't receive I hope you stay and continue to make awesome camos and textures for the game.

    Your wholesome kitten friend :3



  • @SerinityyXD I appreciate that. as for my ban, it was literally just repeated offenses of "shitposting in general" and a certain staff member didn't like that we were enjoying ourselves. But no matter. Can't fight a buzzkill in power.

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