In relationships everybody always says that communication is the most important thing but usually people just wait for their partner to say something wrong or tell them what they want before they actually change anything this is called being reactive and it puts a lot of pressure on just one person to speak up a better way to do this is called proactive sexual listening this basically means you don't just wait around for your partner to complain instead you are actively trying to pay attention to what they need both with their words and their body language before and during sex by doing this intimacy becomes a lot safer and way more fun for both people